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Life Neurotica

by Foster

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1.
I'm ready at least I think I'm ready but the longer I debate the less I know But if I fall back on these same old chords will they move you any closer towards my thought to you I'm ready I'll know when I know that I'm ready but the harder I work through my list the more it grows and I can't keep waiting until everything's done I'm asking you to save me from this Life Neurotica
2.
Ready to Try 04:05
I used to think life was all in my mind Cut down and rebuilt time after time Life like's that, oh, life's like that Life's not that, no, life's not that And the ads say the love that you need Can be found on the endcap that says "As Seen on TV" Just ride it out, oh, just write it out I won't fight now, I won't fight now And I'm wasting my time worrying I'm wasting my time rattling around in my head So I end up living like I'm already dead cuz CHORUS There's always something in the way and there's always more I wish I could say if you're ready to fly I'm ready to try What made you think life stops just for you? The same predicament is shared by all of us too We're all here now waiting for you Let it go now, oh, let let go now And my heart keep saying stop medicating with regret and singing the blues And start living like there's something to lose cuz CHORUS CHORUS 2 And there's oh so much we could make if I could learn to be found, but I'm afraid to look down So I'm letting go Thoughts of me just disappear I'm alive because you're here
3.
Faded white lines The pavement moans and cracks Through fields and broken signs I walk, just like you walked But the difference that I see is the dirt just clings to me The road from Galilee is paved with failed attempts from sinners like me But you said follow me instead and so I carry on though my strength is all but gone CHORUS And I felt you there where horizon meets the sky Just beyond my reach Just beyond my reach So I sing it out cuz the only reason why I'm still on my feet is to pull you close to me Bare feet on even ground I can't see gravity, but I know it holds me down Just like I always feel you there but still I never know why your children suffer so CHORUS CHORUS 2 And I'll be holding on Because I need you right now I'll walk until the dawn, oh this road just carries on So shout it out And keep me up somehow Your voice will be my guide, your love inside my eyes A love that breaks all chains leaves none alone restores all joy A voice that shakes these veins revives these bones above the noise So come on
4.
I walk into the rain curtain and I dodge the drops to a cab The distance is all objective and I wonder how many galaxies I passed And the umbrella sea parts in unity and a red one gets away Like so many lovers that never meet lost and gone on New Years Day This autumn leaf existence so brief and so frail We held our own on the branch but now it's time to set sail It's the beauty in the change the cutting off of circulation Was my beauty a design or was the clock just ticking? Were we lovers in another dimension? Did you smile as I passed by you? Did our atoms hold the tension as the universe split in two? Is it cold where you are or a world as warm as Venus? The size is so bizarre a universe between us Of all the things I've wanted I needed you the most Now I'm forever haunted looks like the physics got us both And the rain just keeps on sinking til I forget your name and I go right on thinking the glistening makes us all the same
5.
I remember driving when I was only seventeen and I pushed the pedal to the floor, thought it might be the end of me and I didn't think I couldn't die, but I thought I could never be healed Could I ever be healed? And then there was a man I never forget about who spread kindness, love and hope to everyone who was around but then one day he left us, overwhelmed by doubt that he would ever be healed Could he ever be healed? And now there is a man who floats down the stairs and offers us enemies to focus all our fears It's an elixir so sweet it seems we no longer care if we will ever be healed Will we ever be healed? It seems hatred wins the day and we all mourn the loss and the anger wells within me, desperate for a cause And you say that this divide is one we will never cross but I still pray we will be healed I don't know how but we will heal Oh God, we need to be healed I don't know how but we will heal
6.
It's You 03:50
The Lord looked out and said let it begin and everything we know did start to spin And soon from the start, created an artist’s heart filled it up with liquor and with sin So now we stand on stage acting big and tough but the audience will always call our bluff And so our cross to bear is pretending like we don’t care while never feeling like we’ll be enough And for so long I’ve been trying hard to pretend that all my work will have an end But as you arrive, I realize anew my greatest work of art just might be you It’s you The battles that I wage are always in my mind just hymns and odes to those I’ve left behind And it’s a blessing and a curse trying to find their worth knowing they can never be defined And for so long I’ve been trying to find my place without getting lost in the emptiness of space But as you arrive, I start to change my view that my place is just right here with you With you The voice inside my head just keeps on telling me lies like no one will remember me when I die But I know I don’t need to fear, cuz folks will know I was here Anytime they look into your eyes And for so long I’ve been trying to make my path before the universe decides to take me back But as you arrive, I realize it’s true My greatest work of art is likely you It’s you
7.
The city sleeps awaiting the dawn The motions are there but the magic is gone and I don’t know what I grieve Maybe just another lonely Christmas Eve CHORUS The silent snow falls and I long to be real the spirit I know is there but cannot feel And the homeless and bar flies are keeping tabs Icicle lights and taxi cabs The carolers sing their last refrain Happy couples board a frozen train I walk ten miles, twenty, I can’t be sure But it’s amazing how much I can endure CHORUS And somewhere in the night a king is born a blessing to this world of mourn and the wounds of the last are tender still and I’ve a need that only you can fill Every song about love as bitter as the frost It’s like a Christmas for the lost Just waiting for peace to take the lead It would be a silent night indeed
8.
On and On 02:56
Tune in, tune in, is there anybody out there? I’m either screaming through the mains or to a void of my own making And all these machines are beeping out a chorus that keep us all locked inside All dressed up with nowhere to go I won’t be the last one Who’ll never know Why my courage gave up on me right when I need it most CHORUS I heard life’s what happens while you’re regretting what you chose and then on and on and on and on it goes This chair is more like a hospital bed, it won’t let me rise or fall And I’m so sick of being afraid of what’s on the other side of the wall And all these monitors say that I’m a dead man, I’m never getting out alive I’ve heard that lie so many times I believed it, believe me I won’t be the last one Who won’t know how This life will end so why do I worry about it now? CHORUS So pull the plugs and sound the alarm This is a lit match, this is a call to arms We were always told we’re on our own But the truth is we were never alone And I want you And I need you And we’re together in this whether you like it or not, so wake up! I won’t be the last one Who’ll never know If I’m too broken now to find my way back home
9.
I’m not ready to say this is the end Feels like I’m always saying goodbye again And I’m sick of all the distances, but in this moment friend It sure is nice to see you again Well I’m not ready to go, to say the least But my feet are out the door and heading east And it’s hard to find the words without sounding cheap But friend it will be nice when I see you again The world is on the move, leaving me behind But wasting time with you is something I sure don’t mind And I’m telling you the truth when I say it every time Friend it sure is nice to see you again And I’m sure it will be nice when I see you again
10.
Jerusalem 06:46
And a dream becomes a hill, and a hill becomes a city and there’s peace and love for all who dwell within and we started out so brave, and we started out so holy but with beauty there is always pain therein Oh dusty death, you call your children home from earth we form and earth we shall sustain but we build our walls and urban sprawls on superficial lines a thick divide fortified with beauty and pain 
Though our dream was meant for all, our words become so hollow for with difference there’s an element of fear 
 and since apathy’s the throat where ignorance is swallowed 
 our stomachs filled with every passing year 
Oh Jerusalem, your children beg for you to reveal a truth we never can obtain and then we wake one day with stiff decrees so thick we cannot breath such a shame that it all came from beauty and pain 
Though Jacob was the first to stand up and be counted against every thinly fashioned false pretense 
 our frantic pace increased, each growing fear unfounded and every effort went to strengthen our defense 
 Woe is us, woe is me, woe is leaves, woe is tree 
Woe is change and all that remains, beauty and pain And our only function came to feed the rich and damn the poor 
And Jacob died with a sign that said “We are secure” 
Woe is us, woe is me, woe is grain, woe is seed 
Woe is chains, all is stained with beauty and pain 
Science is no match for our brevity 
 til anything can be defined as an enemy 
 Oh what have we become? Bartered lives for income Filled our mouths with so much hate 
 Can’t see beauty through the pain 
On every flag, on every pole, power rises to take control on the backs of uninsured, with excuses so absurd 
 Tell them all what Jacob saw, tell them all how he stood tall And said we no longer defended all 
No empire’s complete until it falls Oh Jerusalem 
Your children beg for you
11.
Never knew where this river did run and bend 
I was tossing rocks when I was only ten 
 What did you imagine? I imagined far away lands 
 With beaches and jungles through the mist But if I can dream it, then it must exist 
 Could you imagine? Like footprints in the sand 
The ground calls out for every soul with every life that’s born another one’s stolen away 
 What I leave behind just failures and constructs 
 What I leave behind or moments of awestruck 
 What I leave behind Fear is a constant to defy 
Defenses are high, it’s all inside, so just CHORUS Pull me out 
 Come on just pull me out I can’t go on 
 Living inside my head, come on just pull me out 
At some point you learn a little bit of how this works The rocks I pile only make it worse 
 Well what did you imagine? Starting over somehow Building bridges, burning bridges 
 The same old cycle of tears after so many years You couldn’t imagine I thought I’d be better by now But the river turns and changes course 
 And we drift so far away just from the force 
What I leave behind all my token regrets, or 
What I leave behind just a collection of assets 
What I leave behind the moss and water continue to grow around the rocks I throw but I know you can CHORUS 
I need a connection 
 Just an intersection is all it takes 
 It bends and it bends and it breaks 
I don’t know where I’m going 
I can’t stop this slowing, I’m gonna drown 
Or I’m gonna break this God damn dam down CHORUS What I leave behind
12.
Rage, rage my friends against the dying of the land The end is coming soon, but this is no time to sit on your hands
13.
I cried when our river ran dry and you said “let’s just pretend” 
 The same script just falls from my lips every time I start over again 
And I know this sadness is all elemental
 but if it’s something mental, how do I get it out of my head? And I hear that old familiar rattle a pill for every battle to fight for me instead 
Disdain in the pretense 
It feels almost like resistance CHORUS 
 There’s a ghost in the mirror, tracking me on radar 
It’s only getting clearer that I can’t fight this rationally 
 It’s crawling under my skin, got me feeling like a has been Seems already predetermined that the monster inside is me Scared to drown through the cracks in the ground that suggest this will never end 
Love comes near and I feel all my fears arise again and again All these doubts are so relentless, they’re leaving me defenseless to a fight that can’t be won But if grace is just as strong an alliance, then maybe my defiance has already begun I’m always feeling so small 
I gave you some, but you want it all CHORUS
 This fight doesn’t seem like it will be won But my resistance has just begun
14.
Steam clouds hang low, suspended in the air Over chimneys and dryer vents 
There’s another flurry coming 
 As soon as this one ends And I hate where I stand but I’m comforted in the chords It’s hard to find the meaning anymore
 And I know that there is ground Underneath the salt and snow Oh Lord, this February won’t let go 
Find some tracks to lead you on, the world just seems so still Like it’s all in sepia tone 
 And it all comes rushing back, the times I snuck out late when my father’s boots were like stone And I do love where I’ve been 
but I’m scared of what it means 
to let go of the past and wait for warmer dreams 
And I know I’ll make it through, cuz I’m not the quitting kind But I’m tired of always living one day behind CHORUS 
 When will it be enough, you are always wanting more There’s a broken heart or two calling out from the storm And I don’t want them to lose, but the wolves are at the door 
And God, I need some rest, but they’re always wanting more CHORUS
15.
It’s like right from the start 
 We knew we were bound for ending With all of our balance depending On the roll of a die Didn’t think that we didn’t belong Lost, just playing our songs to the end of the night And I want so bad to go back there 
 With all of the wisdom we lacked there 
But instead I’m just CHORUS 
 Waiting for the comeback 
 maybe when I’m older 
 Waiting for the waiting to be over 
I thought we’d change forever 
but we all just got colder 
 Waiting for the waiting to be over 
I knew in my bones We were so close I could taste it 
 But I come off too strong when I’m wasted 
 Maybe I’ve been so for years 
 And it’s telling how I’m asking for space 
When all I do is long for embrace when the ending is near Surrounded by all these goodbyes 
And I’m so sick of learning to die 
Just a few more beers 
Can this moment last forever? 
Can we go back to when we were younger? CHORUS Comeback Comeback
16.
I never felt my heart I’m not sure it ever started until you came My life neurotica Gave me nothing but a life of shame But that can all disappear I will always hold you and dry your tears So come rest your weary head Adversity will always lie ahead And in all the words I say I hope you know every day That I’ll love, I’ll love you, I’ll love you more than the day before Yes I’ll love, I’ll love you, I’ll love you more than ever before So rest your weary eyes Those existential cries are better left unsaid The irony of control is it’s the one thing you can’t hold in the end And I am like the ocean, and you are like the shore Every time you think I’m gone I keep coming back for more And up here when I sing, it’s the echoes of my everything And all our footsteps intertwined, I hope they do remind you That I’ll love, I’ll love you, I’ll love you more than the day before Yes I’ll love, I’ll love you, I’ll love you more than ever before Oh I’ll love, I’ll love you, I’ll love you more than the day before Yes I’ll love, I’ll love you, I’ll love you more than ever before

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released November 26, 2017

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Foster Chicago, Illinois

Part rock, part folk, even part dance, but all the unbelievably catchy stylings from Morgan Foster (lead singer of Common Shiner).

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